The World Is Not Growing Worse And

Many A Man That Could Rule A Hundherd Millyon Sthrangers With An Ir'n Hand Is Careful To Take Off His Shoes In The Front Hallway Whin He Comes Home Late At Night.

It [thanksgiving] Was Founded By The Puritans To Give Thanks For Bein' Preserved From The Indians, An' We Keep It To Give Thanks We Are Preserved From The Puritans.

A Mormon Is A Man That Has The Bad Taste And The Religion To Do What A Good Many Other People Are Restrained From Doing By Conscientious Scruples And The Police.

The Last Man That Makes A Joke Owns It.

One Of The Strangest Things About Life Is That The Poor, Who Need The Money The Most, Are The Ones That Never Have It.