The Whole Problem With The World Today:

So I Do Have This Ambivalence. Obviously I'm Against Militaries, Because Of What Militaries Do. In Many Ways Though, The Air Force Was Unmilitary-like. They Dropped Bombs On People, But...they Had A Golf Course.

I Call Him Governor Bush Because That's The Only Political Office He's Ever Held Legally In This Country. I Don't Care Where They Hang His Portrait, I Don't Care How Big His Library Is. To Me, He'll Always Be "governor Bush." I Don't Even Capitalize His Name When I Type It Anymore.

If You Take Five White Guys And Put 'em With Five Black Guys, And Let 'em Hang Around Together For About A Month, And At The End Of The Month, You'll Notice That The White Guys Are Walking And Talking And Standing Like The Black Guys Do. You'll Never See The Black Guys Going, "oh, Golly! We Won The Big Game Today, Yes Sir!" But You'll See Guys With Red Hair Named Duffy Going, "what's Happenin'?"

Not Only Do I Not Know What's Going On, I Wouldn't Know What To Do About It If I Did.

If Two Baseball Players From The Same Hometown, On Different Teams, Receive The Same Uniform Number, It Is Not Ironic. It Is A Coincidence. If Barry Bonds Attains Lifetime Statistics Identical To His Father's, It Will Not Be Ironic. It Will Be A Coincidence.