The Squeeky Wheel Gets The Grease.

When You Do Laugh, Open Your Mouth Wide Enough For The Noise To Get Out Without Squealing, Throw Your Head Back As Though You Were Going To Be Shaved, Hold On To Your False Hair With Both Hands And Then Laugh Till Your Soul Gets Thoroughly Rested.

My Advice To Those Who Are About To Begin, In Earnest, The Journey Of Life, Is To Take Their Heart In One Hand And A Club In The Other.

Fashion Makes Fools Of Some, Sinners Of Others, And Slaves Of All.

Music Hath The Charm To Soothe A Savage Beast, But I'd Try A Revolver First.

Self-made Men Are Most Always Apt To Be A Little Too Proud Of The Job.