The Pessimist Is Seldom An Agitating Individual.

Men Who Believe That, Through Some Exceptional Grace Or Good Fortune, They Have Found God, Feel Little Need Of Culture.

Who That Has Plodded On To Middle Age Would Take Back Upon His Shoulders Ten Of The Vanished Years, With Their Mingled Pleasures And Pains? Who Would Return To The Youth He Is Forever Pretending To Regret?

Humor Distorts Nothing, And Only False Gods Are Laughed Off Their Earthly Pedestals.

Philadelphians Are Every Whit As Mediocre As Their Neighbors, But They Seldom Encourage Each Other In Mediocrity By Giving It A More Agreeable Name.

Wit Is Artificial; Humor Is Natural. Wit Is Accidental; Humor Is Inevitable. Wit Is Born Of Conscious Effort; Humor, Of The Allotted Ironies Of Fate. Wit Can Be Expressed Only In Language; Humor Can Be Developed Sufficiently In Situation.