The Only People Who Say Worse Things

I Think A Draft Produces A Better Army Than The One We Would Have With All Volunteers, Because I Think You Get Average Americans If You Have A Draft. And If It's An All-volunteer Army, You Get People Who Join Up Because Of Some Problem In Their Own Lives. They Don't Have Anything Else To Do, They Don't Have A Job, Or They Can't Find What They Want To Do, So They Join The Army. And It Doesn't Produce The Best Army.

Flying Is Always An Unpleasant Experience. You Wait An Hour For Every Ten Minutes You Actually Spend Getting Anywhere.

Let's Face It, Though, Anything That's Apt To Happen To An Appliance Like A Blender Isn't Covered By The Warranty Anyway, So I Never Send Them In. If It Breaks, I'll Buy A New One. That's The American Way.

Not Many People In This World Are As Lucky As I've Been. ... All This Time I've Been Paid To Say What Is On My Mind On Television. You Don't Get Any Luckier In Life Than That.

American Closets Are Filled With Once-worn Clothes That Got A Bad Review From A Friend On Their First Appearance.