The Nicest Present I Ever Got Was

I Was Feeling A Bit Down, I Went To A Therapist A Few Times, At A Hundred Bucks A Pop. But Then I Realized That No Therapy Session Would Ever Cheer Me Up Half As Much As If I Was Just Strolling Along And Found A Hundred Dollar Bill.

My Computer Beat Me At Checkers, But I Sure Beat It At Kickboxing.

I Picked Up A Hitch Hiker. You've Got To When You Hit Them.

I Go From Stool To Stool In Singles Bars Hoping To Get Lucky, But There's Never Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

A Computer Once Beat Me At Chess, But It Was No Match For Me At Kick Boxing.