The Healthcare Reform Bill Now Includes A

If You Give Everybody A Slice Of Pie, You Will Still Have More Than Enough.

Comedy Is The Only Profession Where Love From A Stranger Is Better Than Love From A Family Member. You Need To Perform For Strangers To See If You're Really Funny. If They Laugh And Cheer, It's The Greatest Thing In The World.

The Big Question Now Is Who Will Take Power In Afghanistan Once The Taliban Is Defeated. I Was Thinking, How About Al Gore? He's Not Doing Anything, He Needs A Job, And He's Already Got The Beard.

Martha Stewart Was Found Guilty On All Charges. You Know What That Means, Stripes Are In This Year.

U.s. Government Has Said They Are Now Going To Go After The Terrorist's Electronic Banking System. You Know What They Should Do? They Should Transfer Bin Laden's Funds To My Bank. They'd Mess Up His Deposits, Screw Up His Statement And Nickel And Dime Him To Death With Service Charges.