The Hardest Part Of The Day Is

I Like That In My Audiences, There's A Lesbian Couple Sitting Next To A Mormon Family.

You Can Never Find The Right Bowling Ball. This One's Too Heavy. This One's Good But Its Pink!

Now That I'm Married And Have Two Beautiful Children, It Really Makes Me Appreciate... Being Alone.

Besides Hot Pockets Keeps Introducing New Products Every 10 Minutes So I Always Have New Stuff On The Topic.

Boutique Hotels Are Great, But They Get Too Cute. Some Hotels Have Shoe Polish. It's Like, Come On, This Isn't 1960. No One's Polishing Their Shoes.