The Etiquette Business Has Its Emergencies, Heaven

The Etiquette Of Intimacy Is Very Different From The Etiquette Of Formality, But Manners Are Not Just Something To Show Off To The Outside World. If You Offend The Head Waiter, You Can Always Go To Another Restaurant. If You Offend The Person You Live With, It's Very Cumbersome To Switch To A Different Family.

If You Can't Be Kind, At Least Be Vague.

Perhaps The Greatest Rudenesses Of Our Time Come Not From The Callousness Of Strangers, But From The Solicitousness Of Intimates Who Believe That Their Frank Criticisms Are Always Welcome, And Who Feel Free To "be Themselves" With Those They Love, Which Turns Out To Mean Being Their Worst Selves, While Saving Their Best Behavior For Strangers.

One Reason That The Task Of Inventing Manners Is So Difficult Is That Etiquette Is Folk Custom, And People Have Emotional Ties To The Forms Of Their Youth. That Is Why There Is Such Hostility Between Generations In Times Of Rapid Change; Their Manners Being Different, Each Feels Affronted By The Other, Taking Even The Most Surface Choices For Challenges.

You Can Deny All You Want That There Is Etiquette, And A Lot Of People Do In Everyday Life. But If You Behave In A Way That Offends The People You're Trying To Deal With, They Will Stop Dealing With You...there Are Plenty Of People Who Say, 'we Don't Care About Etiquette, But We Can't Stand The Way So-and-so Behaves, And We Don't Want Him Around!' Etiquette Doesn't Have The Great Sanctions That The Law Has. But The Main Sanction We Do Have Is In Not Dealing With These People And Isolating Them Because Their Behavior Is Unbearable.