The Child Molester Skipped Breakfast, But Said

Some National Parks Have Long Waiting Lists For Camping Reservations. When You Have To Wait A Year To Sleep Next To A Tree, Something Is Wrong.

I Say Things That Can Be Defined As Prayers. But I Don't Pray To A Power Or Ask An Entity To Intercede In The Earthly Scheme, Because I Don't Believe That Happens. But If I See A Really Unfortunate Person In The Street, I Do Pray, Yes, Though I Suppose It's Really More Like A Mantra To Ease My Own Sorrow.

Y'ever Notice How You Never Seem To Get Laid On Thanksgiving? I Think It's Because All The Coats Are On The Bed.

I Believe You Can Joke About Anything.

By The Age Of Six Or Seven, I Was Already Doing Voices And Faces, Making My Friends And My Mother Laugh.