The Best Thing About A Vacation Is

By The Time They're Ready To Be Thrown Away, Most Shoes Are Thoroughly Comfortable

There Are Only A Few Safe Targets Left, Just A Few Groups Of People You Can Say Anything Negative About Without Getting In Trouble For It. I've Made A List Of Safe Targets And I Probably Ought To Stick To Those. Politicians, For Instance. You Can Say Anything You Want About Them, And It Doesn't Matter How Unfair You Are. People Seem To Like It.

Don't You Hate It When...your Suitcase Is The Last One Off The Airplane?

We Can All Be Prouder To Be Human Beings, Because That's What They Were. They Make Up For A Lot Of Liars, Cheats, And Terrorists Among Us.

Numbers Are The Most Certain Things We Have.