Thank You... Fat Dude With Giant Headphones

Now That The Midterm Elections Are Over, President Obama Has Invited Congressional Leaders From Both Parties To A Meeting At The White House Tomorrow. When Asked If He's Nervous, Obama Said, 'oh, I'm Not Going To Be There. I Just Invited Them Over. They Can Figure It Out Themselves.'

I Feel Like I'm Being Too Zen. I'm Inhaling Too Much Patchouli And Incense. It's Embarrassing.

There Are Reports That French President Francois Hollande Had An Affair With An Actress Who Is 18 Years Younger Than Him. It's Pretty Serious. Under French Law, He Could Face Up To 30 High Fives.

In A Recent Interview, Jeb Bush Revealed That His Brother George Gave Him The Nickname 'tortoise' Because He's Making Slow, Steady Progress. Though I Think The Bigger Story Here Is That Compared To George, Jeb Is The Slow One.

I'd Be Nothing Without My Wife. She's The Coolest. She's The Greatest. She Is The Smartest. She's The Funniest. I Love Her So Much. She's Like The - It's Like Your Best Friend For The Rest Of Your Life.