Ted Cruz Raised Over A Million Dollars

Mitt Romney Will Travel To London Where He Will Attend The Olympics Opening Ceremony. Of Course It's Going Ot Be Weird When They're Announcing All The Countries, And He's Like 'got A Bank Account There, Got One There, Two Bank Accounts There.'

A Massive Power Outage In Washington, D.c., Today Affected A Number Of Federal Buildings, Including The White House. When Asked When They Could Restore Power To The White House, Officials Said, '2016?'

Donald Trump Announced That He's Running For President. During His Speech He Told The Crowd That If Elected He Would Be 'the Greatest Jobs President That God Ever Created.' Then God Said, 'hey, Don't Drag Me Into This Publicity Stunt.'

If You're A Sports Fan You Realize That When You Meet Somebody, Like A Girlfriend, They Kind Of Have To Root For Your Team. They Don't Have A Choice.

Many Believe That Hillary Clinton Was Channeling President Obama During Her Recent Speech In New York City. She Focused On Equality, Justice, And How Hard It Was For Her Growing Up As A Young Black Man In Hawaii.