Steven Spielberg's Mother, Who Said To E.t.,

Moses, Who Said When The Red Sea Parted, What The Hell Was That? I Was Just Going In For A Dip! Never Got A Dinner!

Sleeping Beauty, Who Said To Prince Charming, Are You Sure All We Did Was Kiss? Never Got A Dinner!

Christopher Columbus, Who Said To Queen Isabella, No, You Got It Wrong! The World Is Round. You're Flat! Never Got A Dinner!

Sure, I've Gotten Old. I've Had Two Bypass Surgeries, A Hip Replacement, New Knees... I've Fought Prostate Cancer And Diabetes. I'm Half Blind, Can't Hear Anything Quieter Than A Jet Engine, And Take 40 Different Medications That Make Me Dizzy, Winded, And Subject To Blackouts. I Have Bouts With Dementia, Poor Circulation, Hardly Feel My Hands Or Feet Anymore, Can't Remember If I'm 85 Or 92, But... Thank God, I Still Have My Florida Driver's License!

Joe Torre, Who Switched To First Base Because He Didn't Want To Go Through Life As Chicken Catcher Torre. Never Got A Dinner!