Something Wild Can Happen To Anybody And

Golf Was My First Glimpse Of Comedy. I Was A Caddy When I Was A Kid. I Was On The Golf Course Rather Than Being In Lessons, But I Can Play Better Now Than I Could Then.

You Know The Theory Of Cell Irritability? If You Take An Amoeba Cell And Poke It A Thousand Times, It Will Change And Then Re-form Into Its Original Shape. And Then, The Thousandth Time You Poke This Amoeba, The Cell Will Completely Collapse And Become Nothing. That's Kind Of What It's Like Being Famous. People Say Hi, How Are You Doing, And After The Thousandth Time, You Just Get Angry; You Really Pop.

When I Work, My First Relationship With People Is Professional. There Are People Who Want To Be Your Friend Right Away. I Say, "we're Not Gonna Be Friends Until We Get This Done. If We Don't Get This Done, We're Never Going To Be Friends, Because If We Don't Get The Job Done, Then The One Thing We Did Together That We Had To Do Together We Failed."

You Can Tell How Boring A Person Is By The Lack Of Fear In Their Eyes When Someone Is Flipping Through Photos On Their Phone.

Here's The Thing, You Just Have To Drive A Lot Faster, And If You Don't Get There, We're Both Fired.