Some Women Hold Up Dresses That Are

Men Don't Live Well By Themselves. They Don't Even Live Like People. They Live Like Bears With Furniture.

Men Own Basketball Teams. Every Year Cheerleaders' Outfits Get Tighter And Briefer, And Players' Shorts Get Baggier And Longer.

I Loved My Mother Very Much, But She Was Not A Good Cook. Most Turkeys Taste Better The Day After; My Mother's Tasted Better The Day Before. In Our House Thanksgiving Was A Time For Sorrow.

Only Men Who Have Worn A Ski Suit Understand How Complicated It Is For A Woman To Go To The Bathroom When She's Wearing A Jumpsuit.

An Amicable Divorce Is Like A Ventilated Condom; It Just Doesn't Work.