Republicans: The Party That Brought Us 'just

I'm A Satirist, So I've Got Boxing Gloves On If The Person Is Worthy Of Satire. But I'm Not An Assassin. If That Ever Happens, It's Only Because Something Happened During The Interview That Got Me Going, And Then I Had To Translate My Feelings To The Mouth Of The Character.

My Grandfather Did Not Travel Across 4,000 Miles Of The Atlantic Ocean To See This Country Overrun By Immigrants. He Did It Because He Killed A Man Back In Ireland.

I'd Forgotten What An Honest Sandwich It Is. For Those Of You Not Familiar, 'blt' Stands For 'bacon, Lettuce, And Tomato.' A Lot Of People Think The 'b' Stands For 'bread,' And I Can Understand Someone Not Wanting A Lettuce And Tomato Sandwich. But, The Bread Is Implied In The Word 'sandwich.' Anyway, It's An American Original. Everyone Should Have A Blt As Soon As They Can.

Women Don't Want All That. Women Just Want A Partner Who Is Considerate And Attentive, Who Will Spoon With Them While Reciting Keats, And Feed Them Organic Yogurt By Candlelight On A Seaside Cliff At Sunset.

The Entire Future Of Marriage Rests With Justice Anthony Kennedy, The Man Who Declared In Citizens United That Corporations Are People With Constitutional Rights. I Just Hope He Doesn't Do Anything Rash, Like Declare That Homosexuals Are People With Constitutional Rights.