Quentin Tarantino Is Here, Star Of All

My Mom Wanted Me To Apply To Princeton, Cause She Just I Guess Since I Was A Kid Had This Dream That I Would Apply To Princeton, And It Was Not Happening.

Doing One Movie Every Two Years Is About All I Can Handle 'cause, Being The Creator At '30 Rock', My Year There Starts In The Middle Of June And Goes Back Around Until March.

I Was Taken To An Examining Room Where A Big Butch Nurse Practitioner Came In And Asked Me If I Was Pregnant. “no Way!” Was I Sexually Active? “nope!” Had I Ever Been Molested? “well,” I Said, Trying To Make A Joke, “oprah Says The Only Answers To That Question Are ‘yes’ And ‘i Don’t Remember.’ ” I Laughed. We Were Having Fun. The Nurse Looked At Me, Concerned/annoyed.

I Would Not Trade Any Of These Features For Anybody Else’s. I Wouldn’t Trade The Small Thin-lipped Mouth That Makes Me Resemble My Nephew. I Wouldn’t Even Trade The Acne Scar On My Right Cheek, Because That Recurring Zit Spent More Time With Me In College Than Any Boy Ever Did.

It's Like Being A Little Kid Again, Parading Around In A Nightgown Tucked Into Your Underpants, Believing It Looks Terrific.