President Obama Is Going To Take Two

The Catholic Church Has A Tough New Policy On Child Molestors: Three Strikes And You're A Cardinal.

Did You Folks See President Bush's State Of The Union Address? How About That Surprise Announcement? Howard Dean Has Been Captured And He's In The Hands Of Interrogators.

This Osama Bin Laden, Now They Say He Has Had Plastic Surgery. They Say He Sneaked Across The Border Into Pakistan, Which By The Way Is The Place To Go To Have Plastic Surgery. He Looks Great. A Tourist Came Up To Him Earlier This Week And Said, 'may I Have Your Autograph, Mr. Hasselhoff?'

Vladimir Putin Said The Tanks That You See Rolling Through The Streets Are Just Part Of The Closing Ceremonies Of The Olympics.

Bush Explained His Strategy For Transfer Of Power. It's A Two Part Plan. Part One: Clean Out His Desk. Part Two: Rent A U-haul.