President Clinton Says He Looks Forward To

Big Scandal On The New 'survivor' Series. The White, The Black And The Hispanic Teams Were Caught Cheating Off The Asian Team.

As We Watched Judge Clarence Thomas's Supreme Court Confirmation Hearings, All Of The Commentators Said The Same Thing: 'one Of These People In The Room Is Lying.' Do You Believe That? You've Got Two Lawyers And 14 Senators In The Room, And Only One Of Them Is Lying?

Usain Bolt Won The Gold For The Men's 100- And 200-meter Dashes For The Second Olympics In A Row. You Know, He Has Been Running Since He Was In Elementary School - Kind Of Like Mitt Romney.

According To The New York Times, More Than Half Of President Obama's Twitter Followers Are Fake. They Don't Even Exist. Which Is Actually A Good Thing Because If They Did Exist There Wouldn't Be Any Jobs For Them.

Chris Christie Won By Such A Wide Margin That Pundits Say This Will Give Him The Impetus He Needs To Run For President. And He's Got A New Slogan: 'put The Oval In The Oval Office.'