President Bush Wants To Build A Space

Public Service Announcement: In Case Of A Terrorist Attack, Bottled Water And Duct Tape Are Not Going To Do A Damn Thing. So Do What Homeland Security Dir. Tom Ridge Does: Get Really Drunk, And Pick Up A Hooker.

And Tar Is Washing Up Onto The Beaches - Big Globs Of Tar. And People Are Saying, 'is That Going To Ruin Our Summer At The Beach?' No, Of Course Not. You Take The Big Blobs Of Tar And You Use Them To Hold Down Your Blanket.

Are You Getting A Big Kick Out Of The Enron Scandal? I Find This Interesting That Whenever A Big Crisis Starts, People Start Showing Up In Church. So, Ken Lay Shows Up In Church This Weekend. Church Officials Are Still Looking For The Collection Plates.

Final Installment Of Things More Fun Than Reading The Sarah Palin Memoir: Driving Into A Tree, Microwaving Your Head, And Getting Stabbed In The Eye With A Carrot.

I Vote Democrat Because I Believe The Government Will Do A Better Job Of Spending The Money I Earn Than I Would.