President Bush Released His Tax Returns Yesterday.

The 99 Cent Only Store Is Calling Itself Your Valentine's Day Headquarters. Guys, If That's Your Valentine's Day Headquarters, You Can Also Call The Garage Your New Home.

With High Definition Tv, Everything Looks Bigger And Wider. Kind Of Like Going To Your 25th High School Reunion.

Al Gore Has Found A New Job. He Is Going To Teach Journalism At Columbia University, Which Is Ironic Isn't It? The Guy Who Did All The Coke Winds Up Going To The White House, The Guy Who Didn't Do Coke Goes To Columbia.

President Bush Announced Tonight That He Believes In Democracy And That Democracy Can Exist In Iraq. They Can Have A Strong Economy, They Can Have A Good Health Care Plan, And They Can Have A Free And Fair Voting. Iraq? We Can't Even Get This In Florida.

Bp Ceo Tony Hayward Said He Would Just Like To Get His Life Back. He Wants To Get His Life Back. You Know, I Say Give Him Life Plus 20.