Perfection, N. An Imaginary State Of Quality

Day, N. A Period Of Twenty-four Hours, Mostly Misspent. This Period Is Divided Into Two Parts, The Day Proper And The Night, Or Day Improper - The Former Devoted To Sins Of Business, The Latter Consecrated To The Other Sort.

Entertainment, N. Any Kind Of Amusement Whose Inroads Stop Short Of Death By Injection.

Physician, N. One Upon Whom We Set Our Hopes When Ill And Our Dogs When Well.

Plenipotentiary, Adj. Having Full Power. A Minister Plenipotentiary Is A Diplomatist Possessing Absolute Authority On Condition That He Never Exert It.

When God Makes A Beautiful Woman, The Devil Opens A New Register.