Pepperidge Farm Bread. That's Fancy Bread. You

There Was A Product On Late Night Tv That You Could Attach To Your Garden Hose - "you Can Water Your Hard-to-reach Plants With This." Who Would Make Their Plants Hard To Reach? That Seems So Very Mean. I Know You Need Water, But I'm Going To Make You Hard To Reach. "think Like A Cactus!"

I Wish My Name Was Brian Because Maybe Sometimes People Would Misspell My Name And Call Me Brain. That's Like A Free Compliment And You Don't Even Gotta Be Smart To Notice It.

I Tried To Throw A Yo-yo Away. It Was Impossible.

I Drank Some Boiling Water Because I Wanted To Whistle.

I Travel With A Boom Box. When I Get On A Plane, I Stuff The Power Cord For The Boom Box Into The Battery Compartment. From An Outsider's Point Of View, It Looks Like I've Got It All Wrong.