People Don't Talk To Me On Airplanes.

You Have To Do A Show As Honestly As You Can. But You Also Can't Afford Skepticism, Because It's Preparing For Failure, Which Is Useless.

I Love Being Married. It's Great. But I Hate Arguing. I Hate Fighting. You Know What I Do Now? When We Get In An Argument, I Just Take Her Side Against Me. It's Just Easier; It Goes Quicker. She's Like, "what's Wrong With You?" And I'm Like, "i Know! Damn It! Argh!"

Television For A Child Creates Such A High Bar Of Stimulus That Nothing Else Competes. A Beautiful Day Is Absolute Crap To A Kid Who Watches Tv.

You Know What Our Number One Threat Is? Heart Disease.

You Would Never Do Stand-up Without An Audience. I Mean, No One Would Even Consider It. It's Like They're The Instrument You're Playing.