Pat Obrien Knows Nothing. Hes On The

Sometimes We Have To Actually Say, I Think You're Really Funny, But None Of Your Jokes Are Going To Make It On The Air. So Just Answer My Questions. Seriously.

I Learned More About Elections On Election Night 2000 Than I Ever Did During My 16 Years Of Schooling.

I Have A Wife And Two Daughters; People Who Depend On Me. Everything Is More Important Than It Was When I Was 20. But Now I'm Like, "eh, I Made It This Far."

I Peed In My Wife's Boot Once. On Honeymoon, In Madrid, We Were Drinking Absinthe And Somehow Made It Back To Our Hotel. I Don't Remember A Second Of This, But My Wife Woke Up To This Noise. Two Of Her Boots Were In The Corner, One Had Fallen Down And The Other Was Standing Up And I Was Peeing Into It! It Was A Hole, And It Looked Like A Toilet. She Said: "rob, Wake Up, You're Peeing Into My Shoe!"

If You Have A Secret, People Will Sit A Little Bit Closer.