Optimism And Self-pity Are The Positive And

Longevity Is The Revenge Of Talent Upon Genius.

Dining Out Is A Vice, A Dissipation Of Spirit Punished By Remorse. We Eat, Drink, And Talk A Little Too Much, Abuse All Our Friends, Belch Out Our Literary Preferences And Are Egged On By Accomplices In The Audience To Acts Of Mental Exhibitionism. Such Evenings Cannot Fail To Diminish Those Who Take Part In Them. They End On Monkey Hill.

Marriage Is The Permanent Conversation Between Two People Who Talk Over Everything And Everyone Until Death Breaks The Record.

Beautiful Women Must Think About Their Beauty As Capitalists Think About Their Investments Or Politicians About Their Majorities; It Is All They Have To Insure Their Places In The World.

The True Index Of A Man's Character Is The Health Of His Wife.