One Word I Had Throughout The First

One Of The Ideas I've Clung To Most Of My Life Is That If I Just Try Hard Enough It Will Work Out.

I Wasn't Prepared For The Fact That Grief Is So Unpredictable. It Wasn't Just Sadness, And It Wasn't Linear. Somehow I'd Thought That The First Days Would Be The Worst And Then It Would Get Steadily Better - Like Getting Over The Flu. That's Not How It Was.

Grief Is A Bad Moon, A Sleeper Wave. It's Like Having An Inner Combatant, A Saboteur Who, At The Slightest Change In The Sunlight, Or At The First Notes Of A Jingle For A Dog Food Commercial, Will Flick The Memory Switch, Bringing Tears To Your Eyes.

Television Has Never Known What To Do With Grief, Which Resists Narrative: The Dramas Of Grief Are Largely Internal - For The Bereaved, It Is A Chaotic, Intense, Episodic Period, But The Chaos Is By And Large Subterranean, And Easily Appears Static To The Friendly Onlooker Who Has Absorbed The Fact Of Loss And Moved On.

Be Patient With Yourself. Don't Make The Loss Harder By Thinking You Should Be A Certain Way, Or Have Bounced Back, Etc.