One Thing I Know About The Rich,

This Is What I've Been Waiting For My Whole Life. A President Who's Not Afraid To Tell The Truth About Being A Lying A**hole.

No Matter What, Your Parents Are Going To Worry About You. I Had A Tour Bus And My Mother Still Thought I Was Broke. Remember: It's Your Life, Not Theirs. Just Because Your Parents Sent You To College Doesn't Mean They Bought The Rest Of Your Life.

What Makes It Difficult For People Trying To Follow A Dream Is That The Whole Time You Feel Like You're Slamming Your Head Against The Wall. So It's Nice To Make A Breakthrough And Not Kind Of Lying There With Your Head Bleeding.

When People Come To My Act Any Time After Thanksgiving, I Usually Say, You Shouldn't Be Here. You Should Be Shopping. Our Economy Depends On You! You Should Be Out There Buying Stuff.'

Mtv Is To Music As Kfc Is To Chicken!