One Gop Congressman Named Carlos Curbelo Actually

The Department Of Agriculture Announced That It Will Ban Six New Strains Of E. Coli. Which Explains Why The Hot Dog Vendor Outside My Building Is Now Just Selling Napkins.

President Obama Is Getting A New Limousine That Will Have Advanced Night-vision Capabilities. The Technology Even Has A Cool Name ... Headlights.

Joe Biden Was Spotted With A Bruise On His Face That Was Apparently Caused By His Dog. I Guess They Collided When They Both Went After The Same Tennis Ball.

John Walker Lindh, A Twenty-year-old American Studying In Pakistan, Was Captured In Northern Afghanistan Fighting For The Taliban. Experts Call It The Worst Semester Abroad Program Ever.

Facebook Founder Mark Zuckerberg Apparently Called President Obama Directly To Complain About Nsa And How It Spies On Ordinary Americans. That's Right, The Guy Who Runs Facebook Got Mad At The Nsa For Spying On People. Talk About The Pot Unfriending The Kettle!