On 'the Simpsons,' I Will Say That

How Can I Be Expected To Love Someone Who Tries Such Crude Manipulations As Bringing Me Breakfast In Bed?

When Authorities Warn You Of The Sinfulness Of Sex, There Is An Important Lesson To Be Learned. Do Not Have Sex With The Authorities.

The Next Time You Are Contemplating A Decision In Which You Are Debating Whether Or Not To Go For The Gusto, Ask Yourself This Important Question: "how Long Am I Going To Be Dead?" With That Perspective, You Can Now Make A Free, Fearless Choice To Do Just About Any Goddamned Sneaky Thing Your Devious Little Mind Can Think Up. Go Ahead. Have Your Fun. You're Welcome. Go On. See You In Hell.

I Think In Daily Newspapers, The Way Comic Strips Are Treated, It's As If Newspaper Publishers Are Going Out Of Their Way To Kill The Medium. They're Printing The Comics So Small That Most Strips Are Just Talking Heads, And If You Look Back At The Glory Days Of Comic Strips, You Can See That They Were Showcases For Some Of The Best Pop Art Ever To Come Out.

Today Is The First Day Of The Rest Of Your Short, Brutish Existence As A Sentient Creature Before Being Snuffed Out Into Utter Nothingness For All Eternity.