On The Plane Was A Time Magazine

If I Get A Week Off, I'll Go To A Hotel That Has A Golf Course. I Like To Come Downstairs And Go Right Onto The Course. I'll Do That Five Days In A Row.

Mother Teresa Had A Mustache. Hitler Had A Mustache. Mother Teresa Is Hitler.

The Reason I Like Socialism Is That It's Kind Of Enforced Christianity. It's Basically Very Christian, In The Sense Of "do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You." These People Have Nothing, So You Have To Share.

Let Me Be Serious: Divorce Is A Sacred Institution Between A Man And A Woman Who Hate Each Other. God Wanted Adam To Pay Alimony To Eve, Not Steve.

As Psychotic As It Gets Outside, The Comic Can Be More Psychotic.