Nothing In Life Is Fun For The

Why Would You Want To Work For A Living If You Could Just Joke Around? Being A Celebrity Expands Your Commercial Possibilities.

A Dog Will Stay Stupid. That's Why We Love Them So Much. The Entire Time We Know Them, They're Idiots. Think Of Your Dog. Every Time You Come Home, He Thinks It's Amazing. He Has No Idea How You Accomplish This Every Day. You Walk In The Door; The Joy Of This Experience Overwhelms Him. He Looks At You, He's Back. It's That Guy, That Same Guy. He Can't Believe It. Everything Is Amazing To Your Dog. Another Can Of Food? I Don't Believe It.

There's No Downside To Fame And People Who Whine About It Make Me Sick. It's The Greatest Thing In The World.

The Best Piece Of Advice I Received Before I Got Married Was, "be Careful What You Say When You're In A Fight, Because It Could Stick In Someone's Head." I Don't Think I've Ever Said Anything I Really Regretted. I'm Very Sympathetic To Women. I've Really Studied Wife-ology, And I Know You've Got To Figure Out The Feelings. Deal With The Feelings.

Festivus For The Restivus!