North Carolina Right Now Is Going Apeshit

To Me A Real Patriot Is Like A Real Friend. Who's Your Real Friend? It's The Person Who Tells You The Truth. That's Who My Real Friends Are. So, You Know, I Think As Far As Our Country Goes, We Need More People Who Will Do That.

Your Taxes Are Due A Week From Today. You Can Make Out Your Check Directly To Halliburton. Or You Can Do What I'm Going To Do. I'm Filing My First Joint Return. No, I'm Not Getting Married, I'm Sending The Irs An Actual Joint With A Note That Says, 'if You Think I'm Paying For This War, You Must Be High.'

I Don't Know If [barack Obama] Saw The Latest Religion Survey, But Almost A Quarter Of The Country Are Nones. I Don't Mean The Ones Who Hit Me On The Knuckles With A Ruler In Sunday School - I Mean They Put "none" For Religion.

White People Have Always Shown Their Superiority Over Blacks With Their Feet, Moving Out Of Black Neighborhoods With The Fear That Their Kids Will Turn Into One Of Them. And Now, Through The Magic Of Mtv, Damned If It Didn't Turn Out That Way!

John Kerry Made A Joke About Bush Being A Moron, And Now Bush Wants Morons To Think It Was A Joke Was About The Troops. ... Now, John Kerry Has Apologized. He Said He Made A Botched Joke And Admitted That He Has A Joking Problem. He Has Checked Into An Improv Group And Revealed That As A Child, He Was Molested By A Clown.