No, I Was Just Good At Holding

I Don't Get The Regular Aids Test Anymore. I Get The Roundabout Aids Test. I Ask My Friend Brian, "do You Know Anybody Who Has Aids?". He Says, "no". I Say, "cool, Because You Know Me."

I Think A Rotisserie Is Like A Really Morbid Ferris Wheel For Chickens. It’s A Strange Piece Of Machinery . . . We Will Take The Chicken, Kill It, Impale It, And Then Rotate It. And I’ll Be Damned If I’m Not Hungry! Because Spinning Chicken Carcasses Make My Mouth Water! I Like Dizzy Chicken. With A Side Of Potatoes Of Some Sort.

I Made $3,000 Opening For The Neville Brothers, And They Paid Me In Cash. That Was A Bad Situation, Because I Bought Ridiculous Stuff. I Bought A Snake Bite Emergency Kit. Then I Said To My Friends, "don't Even Worry About Snakes Anymore". My Friend Stepped On A Worm, And I Said, "lay Down!"

I Saw On Hbo They Were Advertising A Boxing Match "it's A Fight To The Finish". That's A Good Place To End.

A Minibar Is A Machine That Makes Everything Expensive. When I Take Something Out Of The Minibar, I Always Fathom That I'll Go And Replace It Before They Check It Off, But They Make That Stuff Impossible To Replace. I Go To The Store And Ask, 'do You Have Coke In A Glass Harmonica ...do You Have Individually Wrapped Cashews'