Newt Gingrich Wants To Build A Colony

And Now The Really Difficult Part: We Have To Rebuild Iraq Into A Strong And Independent Nation That Will One Day Hate The United States.

Hillary Clinton, Our Junior Senator From New York, Announced That She Has No Intentions Of Ever, Ever Running For Office Of The President Of The United States. Her Husband, Bill Clinton, Is Bitterly Disappointed. He Is Crushed. There Go His Dreams Of Becoming A Two-impeachment Family.

Last Month Mitt Romney Raised $76 Million. He Found It In An Old Sport-coat Pocket.

I Vote Democrat Because Freedom Of Speech Is Fine As Long As Nobody Is Offended By It.

I Want To Tell You Though, I'm Having The Absolute Best Birthday Ever. Last Night -- This Was So Sweet, It Means A Great Deal To Me -- The Other Cult Members Got Together And They All Took Me Out To See Star Wars.