Never Raise Your Hand To Your Children

It May Be The Way The Cookie Crumbles On Madison Avenue, But In Hong Kong Its The Way The Egg Rolls.

Washington Is A Place Where Politicians Don't Know Which Way Is Up And Taxes Don't Know Which Way Is Down.

I Had A Terrible Fight With My Wife On New Year's Eve. She Called Me A Procrastinator. So I Finished Addressing The Christmas Cards And Left.

I Got A Valentine's Day Card From My Girl. It Said, 'take My Heart! Take My Arms! Take My Lips!' Which Is Just Like Her. Keeping The Best Part For Herself.

The Chance To Be Seen As A Warm, Witty Guy Is Too Good An Opportunity For A Politician To Miss.