My Second Favorite Household Chore Is Ironing.

A Friend Will Tell You She Saw Your Old Boyfriend - And He's A Priest.

I Firmly Believe Kids Don't Want Your Understanding. They Want Your Trust, Your Compassion, Your Blinding Love And Your Car Keys, But You Try To Understand Them And You're In Big Trouble.

I Will Buy Any Creme, Cosmetic, Or Elixir From A Woman With A European Accent.

I Haven't Trusted Polls Since I Read That 62% Of Women Had Affairs During Their Lunch Hour. I've Never Met A Woman In My Life Who Would Give Up Lunch For Sex.

I Hated Skiing Or Any Other Sport Where There Was An Ambulance Waiting At The Bottom Of The Hill.