My Policy Is 'no Stone Throwing Regardless

I Travel Alone So Much, And The First Thought Is To Grab The Damn Phone. In Airports, Just Look Around. Nobody Looks At Anybody, Or Even Out The Window. It's Obvious We Can't Live Without It Anymore, And As A Comic On The Road The Phone Is An Essential Tool. It's Probably Doing More Good Than Bad For Me, But It Does Make Me Sad That Those Of Us Who Grew Up Without Mobile Phones, We Know What We're Missing.

I Hate Seeing People That Look Like You. Especially If God's Living By The Motto 'if At First You Don't Succeed.'

To Get Strangers To Hate You Even Faster, Crank Up The Volume On That Very Interesting Ringtone Of Yours.

Canoe Plus Waterfall Equals I Don't Go Camping Anymore.

I Am Everything And I Am Nothing. I Am Just Kidding; I Am Not Everything And Nothing. That Would Be Ridiculous. I Am Just Everything.