My Monologues Aren't Always Funny. They're Generally

I've Had This Look For About A Year. I Usually Grow This Beard Out Around Christmas. I Like To Go To Malls Dressed As Jesus, And I Like To Then Walk Around The Mall And Go, 'no! No! This Wasn't What It Was Supposed To Be About, People!' Then If There's A Santa At The Mall, I Walk Up To Him And Say, 'listen, Fat Man, You're Just A Clown At My Birthday Party.'

We’re Built To Deal With Death, Disease, Failure, Struggle, Heartbreak, Problems. It’s What Separates Us From The Animals And Why We Envy And Love Animals So Much. We’re Aware Of It All And Have To Process It. The Way We Each Handle Being Human Is Where All The Good Stories, Jokes, Art, Wisdom, Revelations, And Bullshit Come From.

There Are A Lot Of Things That I'm Allowing Myself To Be, But It's A Conscious Effort To Experience Contentment For Me. My Brain Doesn't Do That Naturally. I'm Very Overwhelmed All Of The Time.

It's Great To Have People Come Out. I Do Worry, Though. They Know Me Very Intimately, In A Way, If They Listen To My Show; They Know A Lot About Me.

I Immediately Went Out And Bought A Book On Anger Management. And Now I Have That Book, And I Don't Know If I'll Get To The Book. But I'm Certainly Excited About The Day Where I Can't Find The Book, And I Get To Say, 'where The Hell Is My Anger Management Book?!'