My Goal Is To Leave This Planet

I Certainly Know Guys In Comedy, I Know Some Actors, And I Definitely Know Some Musicians, Who Have Survived To A Certain Age And Make A Good Living Doing What They Do, But Nobody Knows Who They Are. They Wake Up Every Day And They Have The Ability To Get Paid Practicing Their Art, But Underneath It All, If You Scratched The Surface, You Still Get, "if I Only Had My Own Show . . .," Or "if I Only Had My Own Band . . ." It's What People Always Do When They Want To Be Their Own Star.

I Wanted To Get More Serialized. I Had This Idea For An Event That Would Click Onto Everybody's Mortality. I Said, "i Want Somebody To Die." Fortunately For Me, When I Was Toying With That Idea, John Landgraf, Who's The Head Of Fx But Also A Very Smart Executive, Came Up With The Idea Of The Ashes In The Maracas. He Called Me Up And Said, "listen, What About This, They Get The Ashes In A Box And When They Get Them, They Shake Them And They Sound Like Maracas." And I Was Like, "okay, Now I've Got My Throughline."

There Are Some Guys I Know For A Fact, Like Louis C.k., Who Always Talk About How Not-great Of An Actor He Is, And He's Terrific On His Show. But I Know Louis Would Play A Fantastic Dramatic Role In Something, Too. He Just Needs Somebody To Grab Him And Say, "come In Here And Do This."

I Was Reading An Interview With Keith Richards In A Magazine And In The Interview Keith Richards Intimated That Kids Should Not Do Drugs. Keith Richards! Says That Kids Should Not Do Drugs! Keith, We Can't Do Any More Drugs Because You Already F-king Did Them All, Alright? There's None Left! We Have To Wait 'til You Die And Smoke Your Ashes! Jesus Christ! Talk About The Pot And The F-kin' Kettle.

Racism Isn't Born, Folks, It's Taught. I Have A Two-year-old Son. You Know What He Hates? Naps! End Of List.