My Father Wasn't Much For Show Business.

I Don't Feel An Obligation To Give Everyone A Hard Time, But When They're Important People, It's Fun.

If I Were To Insult People And Mean It, That Wouldn't Be Funny.

No Matter Where You Go In This World, You Will Always Find A Jew Sitting In The Beach Chair Next To You.

Famous People Are Deceptive. Deep Down, They're Just Regular People. Like Larry King. We've Been Friends For Forty Years. He's One Of The Few Guys I Know Who's Really Famous. One Minute He's Talking To The President On His Cell Phone, And Then The Next Minute He's Saying To Me, Do You Think We Ought To Give The Waiter Another Dollar?

I Would Describe Myself As A Guy That's Very Normal But Has The Tendency To Rib People, But Never In A Mean-spirited Way.