Most People Have Never Learned That One

People Are Lucky And Unlucky Not According To What They Get Absolutely, But According To The Ratio Between What They Get And What They Have Been Led To Expect.

In Old Times People Used To Try And Square The Circle; Now They Try And Devise Schemes For Satisfying The Irish Nation.

Our Minds Want Clothes As Much As Our Bodies.

The Advantage Of Doing One's Praising For Oneself Is That One Can Lay It On So Thick And Exactly In The Right Places.

Christ And The Church: If He Were To Apply For A Divorce On The Grounds Of Cruelty, Adultery And Desertion, He Would Probably Get One.