Most Men Are Secretly Still Mad At

Commitment Is Different In Males And Females. In Females It Is A Desire To Get Married And Raise A Family. In Males It Means Not Picking Up Other Women While Out With One's Girlfriend.

I Knew So Little About Money I Used To Sign My Check, "love, Rita."

Women Are More Accommodating. If A Woman Drinks The Last Glass Of Apple Juice In The Refrigerator, She'll Make More Apple Juice. If A Man Drinks The Last Glass Of Apple Juice, He'll Just Put Back The Empty Container.

Los Angeles Is A Very Transient Town. It's The Only Place I Know Where You Can Actually Rent A Dog.

I Don't Want To Push The Envelope. Let The Envelope Stay In The Middle Of The Table. I'll Just Make You Laugh.