Mitt Romney Had A Horse Competing In

Mitt Romney Is Not Going To Be Running For President. So You Know What That Means. We Are Getting Closer And Closer To 'president Trump.'

The Democrats Were Crushed In The Midterm Elections. The Republican Juggernaut Pounded The Democrats, And The Pundits Say They Will Not Really Know What Happened To The Democrats Until They Find The Black Box.

Did You Hear About This Genius That Got On A Plane And Set Fire To His Feet? Turns Out He Had Bombs In His Shoes And The Problem All Started When The Flight Attendants Asked Him Nicely To Extinguish His Feet. He Was Wearing Exploding Sneakers. The New Nike Air-jihads!

The World's Oldest Woman Passed Away At 116. They Keep Dying. I Think That Title May Be Cursed.

Now There Are Reports That Osama Bin Laden Would Like To Commit Suicide On Television. This Is The Kind Of Lead-in I Have Been Praying For Every Since I Came To Cbs. Bin Laden Is Planning A Televised Suicide Or, As I Call It, Hosting The Academy Awards.