Members Of Your Family Might Say They

The Holiday Season Is A Time For Storytelling, And Whether You Are Hearing The Story Of A Candelabra Staying Lit For More Than A Week, Or A Baby Born In A Barn Without Proper Medical Supervision, These Stories Often Feature Miracles. Miracles Are Like Pimples, Because Once You Start Looking For Them You Find More Than You Ever Dreamed You'd See, And This Holiday Story Features Any Number Of Miracles, Depending On Your Point Of View.

She Gave Me A Hug And For A Second I Was Embraced By A Body That Makes Me Want To Go Home And Never Eat Again.

Tell It To Everyone You Know, But Pretend You're Kidding.

I Find Reading Screenplays Difficult, As They're Only A Roadmap For What A Movie Might End Up Being.

Having A Personal Philosophy Is Like Having A Pet Marmoset, Because It May Be Very Attractive When You Acquire It, But There May Be Situations When It Will Not Come In Handy At All.