Maybe We Should Hold The Next [olympic]

Despite The Fact That Computer Speeds Are Measured In Nanoseconds And Picoseconds - One Billionth And One Trillionth Of A Second, Respectively - The Smallest Interval Of Time Known To Man Is That Which Occurs In Manhattan Between The Traffic Signal Turning Green And The Taxi Driver Behind You Blowing His Horn.

Democracy Is The Eagle On The Back Of A Dollar Bill, With 13 Arrows In One Claw, 13 Leaves On A Branch, 13 Tail Feathers, And 13 Stars Over Its Head - This Signifies That When The White Man Came To This Country, It Was Bad Luck For The Indians, Bad Luck For The Trees, Bad Luck For The Wildlife, And Lights Out For The American Eagle.

I Don't Run With Anybody's Herd. I Don't Like Crowds. I Don't Like Going To Fancy Places. I Don't Like The Whole Nightclub Scene. Cocktail Parties Drive Me Mad. So I Do My Job And I Stay Away From The Rest Of It.

There's A Lot Of Hypocrisy In Audiences. I'd Never Dream Of Telling Even On A Nightclub Stage, Let Alone My Show, Some Of The Jokes That Are Told In A Lot Of The Living Rooms From Which We Get Those Letters!

You Become Successful, The Way I See It, Only If You're Good Enough To Deliver What The Public Enjoys. If You're Not, You Won't Have Any Audience; So The Performer Really Has More To Do With His Success Than The Public Does.