Live Your Life Like You're The Hero

I Love Coming To D.c. I Think It's A Very Unusual City. It's So Fascinating That It's This Weird Place That Everything Thinks Of As The Capital Of The Country, There Is So Much International Business, Political Stuff That Is Connected To That Part Of The Country That It Has A Very Charred Atmosphere.

It's A Very Strange Thing When You Make Nature Illegal.

When I First Went Onstage I Even Had A Suit Jacket On With The Sleeves Rolled Up Because That's What I Saw On Tv Or At The Improv That Everybody Did.

I Thought Eventually I'd Have A Family And I Really Didn't Want To Be A Loser Like That Guy In His 40s Still Shopping His Band's Shitty Demo Tapes Around.

I Think Stand Is Better Now Than It's Ever Been. I Think It's The Greatest Time Ever To Do Standup Comedy.