Last Night The Taliban Offered To Release

And Don't Think That By Eating Freedom Fries You Are Being Patriotic And Helping The War Effort. Use Less Gasoline, Read A Newspaper. You Know What, How About We Cool It With The Freedom Fries Anyway You Fat Asses. We're The Fattest Country In The World. Have You Ever Walked Around An American Mall? It's Nothing But Chick Fillets And Lane Bryant Track Suits Busting At The Seams.

There Is No One Of-woman-born Who Does Not Like Red Lobster Cheddar Biscuits. Anyone Who Claims Otherwise Is A Liar And A Socialist.

Growing Up As A Girl Is Always Traumatizing, Especially When You Have The Deadly Combination Of Greasy Skin And Getting Your Boobs At Ten. But I Think It's Good To Grow Up That Way. It Builds Character.

Most Of The Time You're Too Busy To Think About It. But Every Now And Then You Say, 'i Work At 'saturday Night Live,' And That Is So Cool.

In A Study, Scientists Report That Drinking Beer Can Be Good For The Liver. I'm Sorry, Did I Say 'scientists'? I Meant Irish People.