Larry Flynt, Running For Governor Of California.

With Iraq Plunging Into Chaos And Gas Prices At Record Highs President Bush Took Time Out This Weekend For A Ride On His Bicycle, But Unfortunately He Fell Off And Sustained Cuts To His Face And Hands. Apparently Bush Was Distracted By The Enormous Responsibilities Of The Presidency. I'm Just Kidding. He Hit Some Gravel Or Something.

As Fighting In Iraq Intensifies, President Bush Delivered His Supplemental War Budget To Congress. The Money Will Cover 30 Days Of Fighting, Then We'll Be Sent One War Every Other Month Until We Cancel Our Subscription.

Apparently, Six Women Claim That Arnold Schwarzenegger Groped Them While Working On His Movies. Hats Off To These Women Who Admit They Worked On Arnold's Movies.

President Bush Spent Last Night Calling World Leaders To Support The War With Iraq And It Is Sad When The Most Powerful Man On Earth Is Yelling, 'i Know You're There, Pick Up, Pick Up.

This Is So Weird. I Saw The New John Kerry Campaign Commercial And He Says, 'i'm John Kerry And I Approve Of This Message - If I Have One.'